


We Are a Hurricane

by WickerPrince



Series: Ryden Angst Fest [1]
Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Angst, Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic At The Disco (Band), Song fic, fight me about it m8
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-21
Packaged: 2018-10-06 15:55:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10338386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickerPrince/pseuds/WickerPrince
Summary: So, I'm bored, and I firmly believe that the song Hurricane is about Ryan (seriously, listen to the lyrics, I dare you to tell me it's not about him). Also, I'm putting off Gay and Vegan because it's horrible and I'm debating whether or not to delete the entire work.Anyway, I want to mark this as multiple chapters because I want to do a chapter for each verse or a few lines per verse. Bear with me here, guys. I'm trying.





	1. Are You Worth Your Weight in Gold?

_Are you worth your weight in gold,_

_'Cause you're behind my eyelids when I'm all alone._

_Hey! Stranger I want ya to catch me like a cold,_

_You and God both got the guns._ _  
When you shoot I think I'd duck._

  


Brendon’s sleep patterns had been changing rapidly over the course of five months. Each night was a different situation, but all of them had one thing in common. Ryan.

 

In fact, tonight was no different. As Brendon lay down after a long day of recording and closed his eyes, he wondered what it would be tonight. Another date? Getting married? Spoons? He let out an exhausted sigh, eyes snapping open again. He was _not_ sleeping tonight. No way. He didn’t think he could handle the pain of waking up once again and realising that Ryan was no longer in bed beside him.

 

They no longer shared a home, or a band, or a bed, or even meals. No. Brendon was on his own now.

 

He turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. It had been, what? Three weeks? Since he’d last talked to Ryan, and he was starting to wonder if maybe Ryan had forgotten about him.

 

He thought back to the first time he and Ryan met. Sophomore year of highschool, he had tried out to be a guitarist for Ryan and Spencer’s band. Stepping into that room that first day and seeing Ryan… he’d never felt anything like that. The entire world had stopped.

 

“Hey.” he had choked out.

 

“Hey. I’m Ryan.” Ryan replied, clapping a hand on Brendon’s shoulder and smiling.

 

Brendon’s entire body tensed slightly at the gesture, not fully comprehending that Ryan fucking Ross was speaking to him. Let alone _touching_ him.

 

“...so that’s what we’ll be doing. You think you can handle that?” Ryan finished his sentence.

 

Well fuck. “I’m sorry? What?” Brendon asked in confusion.

 

Ryan chuckled and explained again, staring fondly into the other’s eyes.

 

The time had passed all too quickly, Brendon recalled. One minute he was playing music and the next they were packing up their instruments.

 

Brendon caught Ryan’s eye as he hastily shoved his guitar into its case. This made Ryan laugh for some reason. They stared at each other for a while and, to Brendon, it felt like forever.

 

“Hey! Lovebirds! What do you want on your pizza?” asked Spencer. This drew both boys back into reality. The blushed, answered (the same thing, mind you) and continued packing up.

 

Tears sprung to Brendon’s eyes as he remembered the scenario. His shaking breaths near droned out the sound of his phone vibrating on the bedside table. He sat up, reached over and checking the caller ID.

  
‘Ryan Ross is calling’ the screen read.


	2. Oh, Kiss Me!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yeah, so i've decided that I'm deleting Gay and Vegan. Maybe I'll come back to the idea, I dunno.
> 
> But here, I worked on this yesterday but didn't have time to finish.

_ I lead the revolution in my bedroom _

_ And I said all the zippers creak. _

_ We said no more war no more clothes beneath these _

_ Oh kiss me! _

 

Brendon’s hands were shaking as he pressed down harshly on the ‘answer call’ button. He held the phone to his ear and took a breath. “R-Ryan?” he stammered.

 

“Brendon? Hey, I didn’t think you would be up.” Ryan’s voice was the best thing Brendon had ever heard. It was so soft and gentle and it just felt so amazing to listen to.

 

“No, I uh...I don’t sleep very well lately. With recording and touring it’s all been, uhm, y’know…” he trailed off, still trying to comprehend that this was actually Ryan that had called him. It wasn’t a dream. Ryan was speaking to him.  _ Ryan  _ had called  _ him.  _

 

“Makes sense...do you mind if I come over?” Ryan asked. He seemed unsure of asking the question, like Brendon would freak out and tell him to get the fuck out of his life. Which, in a sense, Brendon really did want to. But this was Ryan. This was his Ryan, and he wasn’t going to give up an opportunity to see him again. Who knows how long it would be until their next encounter.

 

“Yeah...sure. The door is unlocked so when you get here, just come in.” said Brendon as he stumbled out of bed and down to the front door to unlock it. 

 

“I’ll see you soon, Brendon.” Ryan said and hung up. The click on the other line made Brendon’s heart jump. This meant only one thing: he would be seeing Ryan for the first time in months. What if Ryan was just playing a trick. What if he wasn’t the same. What if, what if, what if. It was all Brendon could do not to throw himself into bed and never come out. 

 

He quickly tugged on a pair of sweatpants that had been lying on the floor and stumbled downstairs just as the door opened. Brendon stopped, his thumb still hooked in the elastic waist of his pants. Ryan. Was. Stunning. 

 

After all the time they had been apart, Brendon never expected him to change. But here he was, with short hair and a stubbled chin that made Brendon want to run his hands over his cheek all the more. 

 

“Uh...am I...interrupting?” asked Ryan, motioning to shirtless Brendon’s hand position.

 

“No! No, I was, I didn’t think it would be right to greet you in my underwear so…” he let out a small laugh, still taking in the sight of Ryan.

 

“Right, of course. Because I’ve never seen you in your underwear.” Ryan smirked, eyes reflecting that playful look that Brendon had missed so much.

 

“Good to know your humour hasn’t changed.” Brendon teased. “You want anything? I think I’ve got some beers. Caprisun?” 

 

Ryan shook his head, closing the door gently behind him. “Actually, I came over because I need to talk to you. And I wanted to do it in person.” 

 

Brendon nodded, taking a moment to compose himself before motioning to the lounge. “Go sit down. I’ll grab us some water.”

 

Ryan nodded back, making his way to the lounge as Brendon rushed into the kitchen. He was only there for about three minutes before he came out carrying a tray of water and crackers - Ryan’s favourite kind.

 

“Thanks, Brendon.” Ryan smiled, shifting forward to take a cracker. 

 

“Sure.” Brendon said. He’d always said ‘sure’ instead of ‘you’re welcome’. It was just how Ryan and Brendon worked. “So...what’d you wanna talk about?” 

 

“Right,” Ryan nodded, “I wasn’t exactly sure how to tell you this - that’s why I hadn’t contacted you until now - and I figured maybe you were just too busy to be bothered with me. But I need to get it out there.”

 

Brendon waited eagerly. Was this it? Was Ryan finally telling him that he still loved him?

 

“Brendon, I…” Brendon leaned forward, “...think you need more water. I’ll be right back.” Ryan panicked (pun definitely intended) and stood, grabbing Brendon’s mostly full water glass and heading for the kitchen.

 

_ ‘Well...that was anticlimactic.’ _ Thought Brendon as he watched Ryan disappear into the kitchen.

 

“Ryan?” he asked, following the taller male into the kitchen where he was already overflowing Brendon’s glass. He stared absently at the water running from the tap, unblinking. “Ryan. Hey, Ryan? You alive in there?” Brendon asked as he moved the cup onto the counter, out of Ryan’s grip, and turned off the tap.

 

Ryan jumped, looking up at Brendon. “I’m sorry, Bren, I couldn’t do it.” he admitted, wrapping his arms around Brendon’s waist.

 

Brendon smiled. “Do what?” This would work. Ryan never thought about things when he was asked this - it was odd, really.

 

“Tell you I love you.” Ryan explained before clamping his mouth shut again.

  
Brendon smirked, “I know,” he said and leaned up, pressing his lips to Ryan’s.


	3. Hey, Hey, We Are a Hurricane!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's slowly becoming shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!
> 
> I also wanna take a moment to put it into the universe that Brendon Urie is actually shorter than George Ryan Ross III
> 
> Thank you for your time

_ Hey! Hey! _

_ We are a hurricane _

_ Drop our anchors in a storm. _

_ Hey! _

_ They will never be the same _

_ They're fighting with us to keep us warm. _

 

_ ‘Insane,’  _ Brendon thought as Ryan kissed back,  _ ‘Absolutely insane!’ _

 

Brendon began to pull away, but Ryan wrapped his arm around his neck, planting a hand firmly against the back of the shorter man’s head. “Not yet.” was all he mumbled against his lips. 

 

Brendon smiled, pressing himself closer to Ryan. He missed this. He hadn’t realised how much, though, until he noticed his hand tangled in Ryan’s short hair. 

 

As the kiss grew rougher, Brendon’s hand tightened in Ryan’s hair. Ryan’s grip on the back of his head, in turn, became firmer, more controlling as he demanded more from Brendon without a single word. Brendon, of course, was happy to oblige. He’d missed this as well, Ryan taking control when Brendon couldn’t, or when he felt like things were moving too slow. It was one of the many,  _ many,  _ perks of dating Ryan Ross.

 

It was only when he felt Ryan retract that he did so as well, letting his arms fall to his sides. They both took a moment to catch their breath, and when they did, Ryan pressed another quick but firm kiss to Brendon’s lips. 

 

“So that was...probably the best thing to happen to me all month.” admitted Brendon, looking up at Ryan fondly. 

 

“All month? What about your album? Or your tour?” Ryan inquired, tilting his head.

 

Brendon waved a hand of dismissal, grinning at Ryan. “You’re the best thing to happen to me. Period.” 

 

Ryan chuckled. “C’mon, I’ve got crackers to eat and you’ve gotta catch me up on everything.”

 

/////

 

“You think we should announce that we’re back together?” asked Brendon after explaining to Ryan that, no, he did not intend on kicking Dallon out of the band but Ryan was definitely allowed to come back, should he chose to do so.

 

“I dunno, it might be good publicity.” Ryan mumbled, his arm shifting to rest on the back of the couch. Brendon took this chance to wiggle his way over and tuck himself under Ryan’s arm, grinning like the dork he is.

 

“I don’t care about publicity, Ry. You know that.” Brendon paused. “Well, I do, but I care about you more.” 

 

Ryan chuckled, kissing the top of Brendon’s head. “Yeah, I know what you meant, Bren.”

 

Brendon grinned. “Still...do you think we should announce it?” 

 

“I think we should just be open. No announcements. Let the paparazzi figure it out for themselves. They can suck my dick.” Ryan stated. 

 

Brendon laughed softly. “Only I get to do that, Ry-Ry.” 

  
“Good answer.” Ryan replied and tilted Brendon’s head up, pressing his lips to Brendon’s one again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAH i bet you suckers thought i was writing smut THATS A BIG BAG OF NOPE (words from the almighty Howell) THIS ASEXUAL TRASH DOESNT WRITE SMUT


	4. You'll Dance To Anything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am finishing this story today. Y'all are gonna hate me for what I'm about to do. Fight me, mate.
> 
> Also, I'm thinking of making this a series. One song per work. What'da think?

_ 'Cause they know, I know, that they don't look like me. _

_ Oh, they know, I know, that they don't sound like me. _

_ You'll dance to anything _

_ You'll dance to anything _

 

Everything was a blur from that point forward. Brendon wasn’t entirely sure how they ended up there, but here they were, walking down the street toward Ryan’s favourite restaurant, hand in hand. Brendon glanced up at the other man, his heart beat speeding up at the look in his eyes. 

 

Happy. Ryan was happy. And that alone was enough to make Brendon happy himself.

 

“I haven’t been here in such a long time.” Ryan said as they approached the wide glass doors. 

 

“Since the last time we saw each other, right?” Brendon said as he scrambled to open the doors for Ryan. This made Ryan chuckle. 

 

“Yeah, since the last time we saw each other.” he affirmed, stepping into the air conditioned building. 

 

Fast forward again, everything a blur, and Brendon was sitting across from Ryan, his food already being placed in front of him. Ryan grinned over at him like nothing odd was going on. Like Brendon hadn’t blacked out. Maybe he had just been so engrossed by Ryan that he hadn’t realised what they were doing until now. 

 

Yeah, that had to be it. But still...something weird was going on. No doubt about it. 

 

“Bren? Hey, you okay?” Ryan asked, tilting his head. He still had that plastic smile on his face. It hadn’t looked that way before, had it?

 

“I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.” Brendon replied, doing his best to smile. It must have worked because Ryan then went on to tell Brendon about his trip to Italy.

 

Ryan hadn’t gone to Italy, Brendon realised. Ryan barely left the country, let alone to Europe.

 

“Really? Italy?” Brendon asked, furrowing his brows. 

 

“Yes, really.” Ryan’s eyes flickered up, landing on the ballroom floor that most definitely was  _ not  _ there before.

 

“Let’s dance.” Ryan said, standing and grabbing Brendon’s hand, guiding him out to the dance floor.

 

Brendon gave him a quizzical look but Ryan didn’t seem to think much of it, because he grabbed Brendon’s hand with one hand and placed the other on his waist.

 

“Ry, what’re you doing?” asked Brendon.

 

“Dancing with my boyfriend.” Ryan replied.

 

Brendon nodded slowly, his eyes narrowed. He let Ryan lead him though, slowly moving closer. Eventually, his head was resting against Ryan’s chest. His heartbeat was steady. This is what Brendon missed most of all. 

  
“I love you, Ryan.” Brendon murmured.


	5. But you didn't come and speak to me or put my heart at ease

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Y'ALL ARE GONNA HATE ME

_ Oh I confess, I confess to the rumor of us. _

_ But you didn't come and speak to me or put my heart at ease _

_ And I believe that half the time, I am a wolf among the sheep _

_ Now I got the wool over my eyes. _

 

Ryan’s silence made Brendon’s stomach churn. “Ryan?” he asked quietly.

 

Ryan began to pull away from Brendon, his face twisted into an expression that could only be described as disgust. 

 

“Ryan.” Brendon choked out. Something was wrong. Everything felt...painted. Plastic. Unreal.

 

“Really, Bren?” Ryan chuckled, only it didn’t sound like Ryan’s chuckle anymore. It was dark. Unnerving. “You really think I would come all this way to say I  _ love  _ you?” 

 

Brendon’s breathing sped up. “Ryan...last night...you said…” 

 

“Oh please,” Ryan spat, his eyes narrowing as a sneer found its way onto his face, “as if anyone could ever love  _ you _ .”

 

Brendon backed up at the words, his eyes brimming with tears. The knot in his stomach tightened and he couldn’t breathe. “You don’t mean that.” he said, voice shaking. 

 

This wasn’t right. Nothing about this was right. Ryan wasn’t supposed to say that. Ryan wasn’t okay. 

 

“Don’t I?” sneered Ryan. “Take a look at yourself, Brendon. How could anyone love you? You’re selfish and immoral. You’re a druggie who thinks he’s a big star, an influence, but you’re not, are you? You’re just another fake. A poser.” 

 

Brendon looked around, frantically trying to find an escape. There wasn’t one. It was all fake. He hit the wall behind him, and it toppled over. They weren’t in the restaurant, they weren’t anywhere. It was all just...white.

 

Brendon looked back to Ryan. This wasn’t Ryan. This wasn’t his Ryan. 

 

“You don’t mean that!” he screamed. “That’s not true, you don’t mean it!” 

 

Ryan cackled, shaking his head. His eyes were hooded, lacking any empathy. “You’re a loser, Brendon. Ryan doesn’t love you. I don’t love you.” 

 

That was it. Brendon fell, engulfed by the abyss that had opened under his feet. 

 

/////

 

Brendon sat up, drenched in sweat and panting.  He looked around, feeling the sheets and the bedside table, even the mattress, just to make sure he was really awake.

 

He looked at his phone, unlocking it and checking his previous calls. 

 

Dallon.

Tour manager.

Record label. 

 

No Ryan.

 

He took a breath, closing his eyes and opening them again. 

 

Still no Ryan. It was just a dream. A crazy, fucked up dream. 

 

Brendon lay back down, turning away from where his phone rested on the bedside table. He stared at the wall as tears began to roll down his face. He tensed at a buzzing from the other side of him. 

 

It took him a moment to build up the strength to pick up his phone, but when he did, his eyes went wide.

 

**One text from: Ryan Ross**

  
**The End**

**Author's Note:**

> WHAT A PIECE OF UTTER SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
